Jim: Hey, Bob — why don’t you and Nancy come over for a barbecue on Saturday? I’ve got a new grill.
Bob: Why sure, Jim, that would be great, thanks. What do you want us to bring?
Jim: Oh, nothing — just yourselves and the kids.
Bob: It’s been ages since I had a good burger. Nancy’s been on a health kick….
Jim: We’re not having burgers, sorry, Bob. I have something special planned.
Bob: Beg pardon?
Jim: Stuffed with gizzards.
Bob: I don’t think Nancy would….gizzards?
Jim: Yeah — one of the bird’s stomachs that’s used to grind up their food. Dinosaurs had them. Alligators have them too. Earthworms. Some fish.
Bob: I think you’re mistaken, mate. Oh, I get it. You’re going to cook burgers and we’re going to drink beers and watch Eddie Izzard on YouTube.
Jim: Eddie Izzard?
Bob: Yeah, that comedian who dresses up as a woman. Runs marathons. Death Star Canteen. “I’ll have the penne alla arrabiata.”
Jim: You’ve lost me, mate. I’m serving squabs.
Bob: Nah, nah, I know what you’re up to. “Squabs”! Hilarious. “Tea or cake and death?, tea and cake or death?”
Jim: Are you feeling alright?
Bob: The kids know those skits by heart. Not really appropriate, some of it, but what can you do? Funny as hell. A bit like you, Jim.
Jim: The recipe’s called “Surprised Squab.”
Bob: I’m sure it is. Of course it is.
Jim: It says “Serve it on the patio, where your guests can feel more free about wresting the succulent meat from this bird’s multitude of tiny bones.” Says it right here.
Bob: Wait till I tell Nancy.
Jim: “Serve 1 juicy squab per person.” Look — here.
Bob: Whatever you say, Jim. See you at sixish? I’ll bring ketchup — you know how the kids go through it like there’s no tomorrow.
Barbecue Cook Book, Lane Magazine & Book Company, 1967