Friday, March 30, 2018

Raggedy Ann Revisited


“Do you remember Denise’s Mom?”
            “Who can forget?”
            “What about that time she invited us all over for a tea party and served us margaritas?”
            “How old were we — six?”
            “That lady was broken. I mean, she tried, but come on — you can’t give kids hard liquor!”
            “So check what I found the other day at a yard sale. A set of Betty Crocker recipe cards from 1971.”
            “My Mom used to have one of those too!”
            “So I’m going through the cards for fun, because these recipes are whack — and look what I found.”
            “Rag Doll Tea Party. Sweet Jesus — that’s what she served us!”
            “I know, right? Because what little kid expects to be served a salad instead of cookies and lemonade?”
            “Ooh — lettuce! Celery! Raisins!”
            “What’s the hair made out of?”
            “Cheese. Is that a boiled egg for the head?”
            “No — it’s a marshmallow. I remember it being egg, though. Oh my God.”
            “Wow.”
            “No — I mean Oh my God, I just figured it out.”
            “What?”
             “The margaritas. She read it wrong. They were supposed to be meringues. They’re called ‘Marguerites.’”
            “How can you get that wrong?”
            “Girlfriend, everything about this is wrong. You need a cocktail to get through it. She was doing us a favor.”




Children’s Parties Card #15 Rag Doll Tea Party, Betty Crocker Recipe Card Library, 1971

See Also: An International Incident, Horrorscope, A SNAFU In The Jungle