Shark: Oi! You!
Whale: Wassup!
Shark: What in Neptune’s Depths are you?
Whale: I am a zucchini.
Shark: What species is that?
Whale: Curcubita Pepo.
Shark: Never heard of it. What are you related to?
Whale: Well, all squashes, really — cucumbers, marrows, acorn squash, spaghetti squash, that sort of thing.
Shark: You’re not a Sea Cucumber, then?
Whale: Oh, no — they’re animals, not plants. Completely different Kingdom altogether. You look a bit odd yourself. What are you?
Shark: A pickle. Cucumis Sativus to be precise.
Whale: Then we’re cousins!
Shark: What?
Whale: Sure: we’re both part of the Cucurbitoideae family.
Shark: No way!
Whale: You better believe it. You’re a gourd. You look a bit like a gourd. Except with fins.
Shark: What happened to your fins? How do you swim?
Whale: With great difficulty. Someone forgot to make me any.
Shark: Tough rap, Cuz.
Whale: Tell me about it. Hey — nice running in to you. Maybe I’ll catch you again sometime.
Shark: If no-one catches you first!
How To Garnish, International Culinary Consultants, 1983
Also from this book: Salad Worms And Melon Whales
