A Bird’s Eye View of Bird’s Eye Peas

For the next round in our epic dinner battle we will have each contestant compete to see who can finish his dinner first. You will be racing against the clock, and I have to warn you: points WILL be deducted for spillage.

What’s the catch, you say?

You will have to complete your task while suspended by a harness from the ceiling! There you will dangle just within reach of your meal for as long as it takes to consume all of it — wine included.

That’s not so hard! I hear you say.

Well, consider this: have you ever tried swallowing against the force of gravity? No? I can see by the look on your faces that you appreciate our brave contestants’ dilemma.

In order for us to follow along, each contestant will be wearing a head-mounted camera so that we can view the spectacle from their perspective.

Are we ready? Yes?

On your marks . . . get set . . . go!

Pillsbury’s Creative Cooking in Minutes, The Pillsbury Company, 1971

Also from this book: Green Bean Casserole

Stuffed Onions (And Peas)

Have trouble getting the kids to eat their peas? Have they reached that awkward stage between delighting in their greenness and roundness and the discovery that they can be flicked all into every corner of your dining room when your eyes are averted, and a full-on tantrum if any of the peas so much as touch another item on their plate?

All hope is not lost! This ingenious method of hiding the peas in the hollowed-out center of an onion is a sure-fire way of pulling the wool over their eyes. They’ll think they’re just eating a plain old onion, yet in the meantime they will have consumed an entire serving of peas! The piquant flavor of barely cooked onion masks the taste of peas like a dream — and since everything is spherical, it all feels the same once you put it in your mouth.

Works once — works twice — works every time!

Microwave Cooking Fruits & Vegetables, Publications Arts, Inc., 1981