Stick-Of-Sauce

 Dear People of Nointel, France

Do not be alarmed: that strange rumbling you feel under your feet is not an earthquake. It is merely the old marquis, Louis de Béchamel, turning over in his grave. <<Pourqui?>> you ask?

Look no further than this page from the Tappan Microwave Cooking Guide for your answer. Note that the sauce consists of margarine, nonfat milk powder, flour, and water, which is then fashioned into a stick and frozen, to be reconstituted at a later date for the sake of convenience.

The recipe for Easy Bechamel Sauce is actually a Zen Koan because it complicates what is genuinely easy but wants to persuade you that the added steps will make it easier. This is a paradox that will melt your brain, artfully depicted in the photograph. 

Actual Béchamel Sauce

Melt knob of butter in a pan. Stir in just enough flour to make a roux, and cook slightly before slowly adding milk. While sauce thickens, stir in additional seasonings (cheese; nutmeg; salt; pepper; etc.) 

Et Voila. 

Tappan Microwave Cooking Guide

Also from this book: Turkey a la Death, Nights In White Frosting

Top-Notch Turkey Loaf

 A recipe illustrating the old culinary adage: “if in doubt, grind up and squeeze into a loaf pan.”

This useful tip has saved many a housewife the terrible embarrassment of serving yet more turkey sandwiches after the holidays, and perhaps even the disdain of her family for a failure of imagination in the kitchen. Luckily, Better Homes and Gardens has come to the rescue with the masterful tome, Ground Meat Cook Book, most of which includes turning animal parts into something that looks like it came out of a can. Still, one must take into account delicate constitutions for whom meat whose source can still be determined is off-putting.

One of those tricks is to slather the meat product in sauce. Curiously, this particular example resembles what can happen if the person you’re serving has eaten just too much damn turkey and egg-nog in recent days.

It gives new meaning to recycling, doesn’t it? 

Ground Meat Cook Book, Better Homes and Gardens, 1969

Also from this book: Hamburger Helper?, Cooties Especial, Ham Strata, Meaty Surprise!, Peppy-Sauced Meatloaf, Tangiers Hash, King-Sized Balls