Ham Strata

Geologists date the ham strata to 1969, when similar deposits of meat product were laid down all across the country between layers of soft bread. The large, pink stratum is generally found next to a very thin mustard stratum and a few yellowish strata which scientists have suspected consist of margarine and mayonnaise. A separate group claims that one of the pale strata is in fact Miracle Whip. On occasion, a butter strata has also been detected, though this is rare.

Of interest to stratigraphers is the similarity between the ham strata and the hamburger strata, though the latter is characterized by the presence of dill pickle, onion and ketchup strata. Students of stratiography are encouraged to unearth local samples for study following their introduction to the lunchmeat strata in general before moving on to the far more complex muffeleta strata.

For those wishing to pursue stratiology at the doctoral level, the University of the Sandwich Islands offers competitive fellowships.

Ground Meat Cook Book, Better Homes and Gardens, 1969

Also from this book: Top-Notch Turkey Loaf, Cooties Especial, Hamburger Helper?, Meaty Surprise!, Peppy-Sauced Meatloaf, Tangiers Hash, King-Sized Balls