The Alternate Tale Of Squirrel Nutkin

Beatrix Potter

Old Brown, the owl, was tired of Squirrel Nutkin’s impertinence. How nice it would be, he thought, to have broiled squirrel for supper! It just so happened that Old Brown had the perfect recipe in his library.

On the appointed day, Old Brown prepared for his feast. He set his fire and melted butter with which to anoint Squirrel Nutkin once he was cooked. Then he waited.

Soon enough, the squirrels came by, as they always did, led by the meddlesome Squirrel Nutkin singing one of his puzzling riddles. All of a sudden, Old Brown sprung into action, grabbing the object of his annoyance and quickly stuffing him into his waistcoat pocket. The other squirrels dashed away.

But Squirrel Nutkin could smell the melted butter and knew what was in store for him. Old Brown pinned him down to skin him as the recipe instructed, but his dinner struggled and pulled and put up an almighty fight. But Old Brown was too strong and after a while Squirrel Nutkin, who once had been so full of life, succumbed.

In a jiffy, Old Brown had skinned him and gutted him and laid him out on his fire to broil. He spooned the melted butter over him, seasoned his nemesis with salt and pepper, and squashed him between two hot dishes before serving him up.

Complete Cook Book, Marion Harland, 1906

Also by Marion Harland: Roast Bambi, Stained, The Wet Blanket of Discouragement