Raggedy Ann Revisited

“Do you remember Denise’s Mom?”

            “Who can forget?”

            “What about that time she invited us all over for a tea party and served us margaritas?”

            “How old were we — six?”

            “That lady was broken. I mean, she tried, but come on — you can’t give kids hard liquor!”

            “So check what I found the other day at a yard sale. A set of Betty Crocker recipe cards from 1971.”

            “My Mom used to have one of those too!”

            “So I’m going through the cards for fun, because these recipes are whack — and look what I found.”

            “Rag Doll Tea Party. Sweet Jesus — that’s what she served us!”

            “I know, right? Because what little kid expects to be served a salad instead of cookies and lemonade?”

            “Ooh — lettuce! Celery! Raisins!”

            “What’s the hair made out of?”

            “Cheese. Is that a boiled egg for the head?”

            “No — it’s a marshmallow. I remember it being egg, though. Oh my God.”

            “Wow.”

            “No — I mean Oh my God, I just figured it out.”

            “What?”

             “The margaritas. She read it wrong. They were supposed to be meringues. They’re called ‘Marguerites.’”

            “How can you get that wrong?”

            “Girlfriend, everything about this is wrong. You need a cocktail to get through it. She was doing us a favor.”

Children’s Parties Card #15 Rag Doll Tea Party, Betty Crocker Recipe Card Library, 1971

See Also: An International Incident, Horrorscope, A SNAFU In The Jungle

Sloe Gin

With a maturation time of seven years, it ought to be called “slow gin,” which is often what people think the word is. The sloe berry is a lovely blue which when touched turns to black, and was once very prevalent among British hedgerows, along with rosehips and blackberries. Rosehips, full of vitamin C, aren’t good to eat, but make a lovely sweet cordial.

 The sugar is necessary to extract the essence from the berries in the alcohol, which turns a deep red color.

Here is Joe Bonamassa singing his song “Sloe Gin.” It was originally written and performed by Tim Curry. 

The Alice B. Toklas Cook Book, Alice B. Toklas, 1954

Also from this book: One Toke Over The Line

Hop to it, Barkeep!

The smell of a new book, especially expensive coffee table books, can be divine — a heady mix of printing ink and paper. Old books, on the other hand, can  immediately bring to mind the attic or garage in which they were stored, their pages quietly soaking up the aroma of the passage of time itself: a distinctive musk of damp, dust and mildew.

While the new book smell is delightful, it’s the old book smell that evokes the strongest memories. If you want to recall the daring summer of your 13^th year when you discovered that stack of ancient National Geographics on the summer cottage shelf behind the board games, and pored over the risqué photographs of naked people and gawped at the old fashioned ads, then that smell will bring it all fondly back, along with a discomforting sense of arousal.

On the other hand, the two-volume set comprised of Playboy’s Host and Bar Book and Gourmet recipe guide from 1971 smells just exactly how one would imagine the Playboy Club to smell on Monday morning: reeking of stale cigarette smoke. If you ever secretly wanted to be a Bunny, in bobble tail and fishnets — or you longed to slink about in evening wear, jewels and a bouffant, or a white turtleneck and velvet sport coat sipping on cocktails with Heff in the hope of getting laid, then this book will not make you whimsically tumescent; it will put you right off.

In the epic battle for olfactory dominance, Rive Gauche and Aramis have sadly lost to Dunhill and Silk Cut.

Playboy Cooler

1 ¼ oz golden Jamaican rum

1 ¼ oz Jamaican coffee liqueur

3oz pineapple juice

2 teaspoons lemon juice

Cola drink

1 slice pineapple

Shake rum, coffee liqueur, pineapple juice and lemon juice well with ice. Strain into pre-chilled tall 14oz glasses. Add ice to fill glass to in inch from the top. Add cola. garnish with pineapple slice. Serve with long straw, as at the London Playboy Club.

Playboy’s Host & Bar Book, Thomas Mario, A Playboy Press Book, 1971