What a Douchebag

Let’s not pretend what “french fries” stand for here.

If you want your husband’s french fry to stand upright, be sure your basket isn’t too “greasy.” Be sure your chicken is up to snuff too. He’ll find it tasty. Maybe you’ll also find it tasty should you have the opportunity to find out. I’m sure your husband will want to watch. Perhaps he has something “all-vegetable” in mind. Look: in that last photo he’s showing you exactly what he has in mind for dessert!

Somewhere, the person who designed this ad is still doubled over with a hand clamped tight over their mouth in disbelief they actually ran it.

Crisco not only has no cholesterol — it has no shame.

Woman’s Day, November 1979

More Yuckylicious ads: The Big Squeez, Behold The Versatronic, Gold Medal Memories, The Seven Year Itch, You Say Carat; I Say Carrot (Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off), Mad Men, It’s The Real Thing (What Is, Exactly?), Putting the Special in Special K

Spry

At the dawn of the age of the automobile, it was generally thought (if not assumed to be one of the more assuredly obvious fact of physics), that human beings could not tolerate speeds of over 20 miles per hour. The apparatus which made such speeds possible was therefore treated with trepidation.

When paved roads and rubber tires allowed the horseless carriage to exceed this lowly speed, people discovered that survival was possible, and that whizzing around on a noisy engine was quite a lot of fun.

When humans determine that something is intensely pleasurable, they find ways to make it more so. Thus it is that the Shelby Dragonsnake Cobra hit the streets in 1963. It is an opium dream of an automobile. It goes very fast. It is hot pink.

 But what does this have to do with this lady proffering fried foods? you ask.

You have to ask?

Enjoy Good Eating Every Day The Easy Spry Way, Lever Brothers Company, 1940

Also from this book: Complimentary