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Showing posts with label Cocktails. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cocktails. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Better Than Anything



The word hyperbole means to overthrow — to toss a phrase above and beyond reason. Hyperbole is a rhetorical device that is not meant to be read literally. It appeals to our desire to live vicariously through language because the notion or imagery it produces creates a far more lush universe than the one in which we live. Our language is littered with words which describe the furthest extremes of what is possible: never, always, most, none, best, worst, everything, nothing.

It is absolutely true, however, that this is the bestest, most awesome and out-of-this-world cocktail that mankind has ever invented. Ever. Ever.

The Calvert Party Encyclopedia, 1960

Also from this book: Prairie Oysters

Friday, December 2, 2011

Cock Ale


 There are many kinds of beer. Some beers are dark and rich, bitter and frothy. Others are light and sparkly. Still others are golden and mellow. Some are strongly reminiscent of the ingredients used to make them; hops, wheat, barley, malt. Nowadays one can find a cornucopia of beers, ales, stouts, bitters and lagers brewed by giant corporations and tiny independent breweries, but not many of them taste like chicken.

300 years ago, it was a different story — back then, people liked their beer to impart a strong flavor of mangy rooster. According to John Nott, this concoction is “good against a consumption, and to restore decayed nature.” It worked by encouraging phlegm, so that the afflicted could expectorate more productively and was very popular during the 17th century.

If this appeals to you because you are hacking up a lung with tuberculosis or your nature is decayed, here’s how to make it.

Gather up yourself a really old and irritable rooster and, avoiding scratches, push him into a vat of boiling water, just till he is dead, but not cooked too much. Flay him of his skin and feathers, then break off his feet and gut him. Take a large stone and smash him to bits to break all his bones. By this point he will be a bloody, greasy mess. Get a big canvas bag, and put into it the half-cooked, eviscerated bird, two quarts of fortified wine, three pounds of stoned raisins, some mace, and a few cloves. Leave it a while to ripen. After this, dump the entire bag into your giant vat containing ten gallons of ale. Leave this for a week to nine days to further develop its flavor, then bottle it up. Don’t drink it right away.

It is rumored to be the origin of the word “cocktail,” so next time you order one you might want to be reminded of that.

The Compleat Housewife, Eliza Smith, 1739
The Cook’s and Confectioner’s Dictionary, John Nott, 1723


Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Beef Cocktail — Cheers!



That the human body is an evolutionary work in progress can be seen in the presence of the coccyx, which happens to also be the best-named bone we have. The coccyx is at the very end of your spine, the faint echo of a vestigial tail.

Other parts modern man has little use for include the wisdom teeth, which many have removed because our short jaws don't do much mammoth bone gnawing anymore. The ability to see further than our computer screens have meant we all have spectacles perched on the ends of our half-used noses.

The Complete Blender Cook Book appears to want to hasten the demise of our teefs, too, because if you use it you’ll have absolutely no need for them. If it can be turned into a puree, paste, foam, cream, sauce, goo or liquid of any kind, then it’s in here.

The Cocktail Hour is also going out of style, along with smoking — perhaps because folks started replacing the alcohol in them with meat and then sent you out in the cold to enjoy your cigarette separately on the sidewalk. What is the world coming to?

For those of you who like to consume your beef through a straw, there’s this:

Beef Cocktail

1 cup beef broth
1 very thin slice onion
1 teaspoon lemon juice
¼ pound cooked round steak, shredded

Into container put all ingredients. Cover, blend for 20 seconds. Season delicately to taste. If served hot, heat over low flame, do not boil; or serve cold garnished with parsley. Makes 1 to 2 drinks.

The Complete Blender Cook Book, Waring Products Co., 1965

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