Opening Up A Can Of Worms

Because we have become so inured to marketing gimmicks, most Americans think that Chef Boyardee is a brand invented to sell tinned spaghetti products to children. It is not. It is, however just the first of a whole slew of falsehoods the brand is built upon. Here are some of them.

Fact:

Chef Boyardee did, in fact exist — only his name wasn’t spelled like that. He was Ettore Boiardi, and yes, he was a real chef; he was the head chef at New York’s Plaza Hotel before becoming a personal favorite of President Woodrow Wilson.

Fact:

That’s Boiardi’s likeness on the cans. He died in 1985.

Fact:

Chef Boiardi really did invent his product. After opening a restaurant in 1924, he often sold his sauce to customers, a business he expanded by expanding this sideline by opening a factory. He grew his own tomatoes in the basement.

Fact:

Chef Boiardi, perhaps seasoned by his experience as an immigrant (he arrived at Ellis Island at 16), understood that Americans would find it easier to pronounce his name if it was spelled phonetically. Hence the early version, the hyphenated “Boy-ar-dee.”

Fact:

Chef Boyardee brand spaghetti and meatballs was not originally marketed to children — it was shipped to troops serving in WW2.

Fact:

Chef Boiardi sold his brand in 1944 for $6 million. At the time of his death in 1985, it was generating $500 million annually.

Fact:

Actual pasta with meatballs in tomato sauce is quite nutritious and cheap.

Fact:

Chef Boyardee brand spaghetti and meatballs is still kinda cheap, but is no longer nutritious. Although today’s cans advertise “Good Stuff Inside” including ½ cup of vegetables per serving, six vitamins and minerals, and protein, reading the label will tell a different story. First, all the figures are for two servings per can. We all know that people eat a whole can. (Even the company acknowledges that kids don’t actually eat a single serving, saying they’ll “come back for seconds.”) Given this, there are 520 calories, nearly half of those from fat. There are a whopping 1500 mgs of sodium, 62% of the daily recommended dose. There are 60 grams of carbs, or a whole fifth of a daily allowance. There are (by my count — the label is confusing) over 30 different ingredients.

Fact:

Chef Boyardee does NOT “fool your kids,” as their marketing has long claimed. Kids recognize that spaghetti from a can is not the same thing as a home-cooked meal. The idea that “problem eaters” can be persuaded to eat healthy foods if they are disguised as something else sets a poor precedent. Such foods are usually loaded up with sugar and salt, which is like crack for the palate, establishing addictions not only to the blood sugar rush but also to a wildly artificial expectation of taste.

Fact:

This sundae dish is not filled with an ice cream sundae. Anyone expecting desert will be sorely disappointed. (It does contain seven grams of sugar, however.)

LIFE Magazine, December 17, 1971

The Marmite Effect

Marmite, that tar-like extremely savory yeast extract beloved by British people and despised by almost everyone else, is so proud of its ability to arouse such opposing passions, that it has designed its entire publicity engine around it. The website asks you to choose: Love It or Hate It? Each takes you to a different version of the site. Their TV advertising even capitalized on the strength of people’s reactions to the stuff, both pro and con. Marmite has become so well known as a polarizing product that there is something known as “the Marmite Effect” to describe something that provokes extremes.

The British like to think that you have to be raised on Marmite in order to develop a love for it. Certainly, coming to its pungent flavor late in life is not likely to result in quite the same following as a native consumer. There is no middle ground, no mild tolerance. It is so firmly embedded in the taste buds of the patriotic that it has been included in the rations of British troops from WWI on. For those living abroad in places where it can't be found on supermarket shelves, it is considered black gold, something to be devoutly treasured, with every last sticky smear scraped from the inside of the dark jar by the tip of a butter knife.

Marmite is made primarily from the sludge leftover from beer production — brewer’s yeast. It is very rich in B vitamins (including folic acid) and minerals, vegetarian, and very good for you. It is traditionally spread thinly on buttered toast, though it also makes for flavorsome stock and a hearty drink when mixed with water.

Here’s Nigella Lawson cooking Spaghetti With Marmite.

And the recipe reproduced from her book, Nigella’s Kitchen:

For Hitch, who loved Marmite, and extremes. You can take a man out of England, but you can’t take England out of the man.