Cooking: what is it, and how can I get involved?
Cooking is a long-lost ancient skill our ancestors used to
prepare food to eat. Long ago, in order to eat, people had to “grow” “raise”
“hunt” and “cultivate” edible things that they would then “cook” to turn into
food. It took all day.
Today, cooking has become popular among a select group of
hip individuals who wish to recreate this long-abandoned art in their own
homes. People who do cooking are known as “cooks.”
What sorts of things do “cooks” make?
Take pizza for example. A cook will make a pizza using a
“recipe” and techniques learned from “books.” They will actually make the
“dough” (the stuff the base is made from) themselves using their hands, and the
tomato part and the cheese part (although many cooks still buy the cheese). *
Then they will heat it in an oven. This is also called “cooking” it, which may
be confusing.
But why would someone go to all this trouble?
No-one really knows. You can buy a pizza at any supermarket.
What does homemade pizza taste like?
Again, this is unclear. Cooks rarely allow non-cooks to
share their “food.” By the time you show up, it’s usually all been eaten. It is
thought they do this to hide the evidence of their habit. The only way to know
is to become a cook yourself.
Cooking sounds like a religious cult. Is it dangerous?
As with all new things, caution should be taken before
attempting. Before trying to cook, you should document your whereabouts and
alert your family, should things go wrong. It is a known fact that people who
have taken up cooking have disappeared into kitchens, and are never heard from
again. It can take years to track a cook down, and it has proven to be very
difficult to re-integrate them back into society. Cooks have also been known to
recruit their own family and friends into the habit: it’s a discussion you
should have before you become hooked.
*Not the cheese you may be used to: this cheese is made from
milk and enzymes which are mixed together and left to “age.”
Fast Meals Cookbook,
Rockville House Publishers, 1972
Also from this book: Revenge Salad
