Thursday, April 19, 2012

Bizarre Salad Bazaar

Here’s a list of what not to do to improve a salad.

Give a banana even more surface area with which to react to the air and turn brown by scoring it with a fork.

Mix dark, bitter salad leaves in with your sweet, light leaves, which will confuse people, thinking that some of your salad has started to rot.

Yum — salty onion juice scrapings!

Bananas are very sweet. Olives are not. Do not mix bananas with olives.

Raw cranberries are best cooked.

Everybody loves the surprise of finding bits of grated walnut between their teeth, or under their dentures, especially those with nut allergies. If you’re lucky, you’ll have a bunch of those walnuts whose shells have not come all the way off, providing the extra pleasure of rock-hard granules for added texture.

Do not serve “salad desserts,” even when you want to make your dinner gay.

Many a finger was lost to the careless carving of radish roses.

If your salad looks a bit lackluster, you can easily give it the high-calorie touch by adding nuts and candied fruit.

Banana Salad Bazaar, Meloripe Fruit Company
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