Tuesday, May 1, 2012

One Potato, Two Potatoes …

— Darling! Hark! Look — I am returned from the market, having bartered with a merchant there for these delicious-looking but mysterious tubers!

— Oh Geoffrey — that’s wonderful news. All I had for dinner was this cauliflower, some asparagus, and a few mushrooms from the patch by the privy.

— Aren’t they magnificent!

— Yes! They look exactly like earthen stones! What did they cost you, husband?

— Edward, the youngest. You’re always complaining about him hanging around.

— Oh, good. Less mouths to feed! Perhaps he will enjoy a better life as a deckhand on some ocean-going vessel and see the world.

— Perhaps he will go to the fabled place where these lumps are grown! What a blessed place that must be!

— I will serve them with my special wooden spoon. Be a dear and rend them open with your axe, will you?

— Why certainly, my beloved. Oh, to live a life on the seas! Swabbing the decks and swaying with the ship! The tropics! Imagine the diseases! I wonder if we shall ever see him again.

— Probably not. Like as not he’ll drown within a month.

— So I’m excited about these spuds. Do you think you’re supposed to cook them or eat them raw?

— How are you serving the rest?

— Raw. I didn’t have time to gather kindling.

— Uncooked it is then, my Sweet. Can’t wait. I’m going to toss a rock around with Ulric.

— Careful, Geoffrey! You remember what happened last time!

— Poor Freddie. He would have made a good seafarer, that boy.

Microwave Miracles,  Hyla O’Connor

Also from this book: Iron Feng, All Wrapped Up, 1982Circumcised Apples
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