Thanksgiving is an American national holiday which celebrates how very very thankful the English Pilgrims were to have found a massive continent of unimaginable bounty and potential which had absolutely no people already living there. Because they were the first Europeans to set foot on it, they decided to celebrate their good fortune by holding a party. Representatives of the uninhabited land were invited so that they could be mocked for being such bad real estate managers. After dinner they played a rousing game of “Finder’s Keepers” which the Pilgrims won. The prize was the glorious gift of freedom. Then they sat down to eat a giant plate of parsley garnished with a roasted local bird.