Jim: Hey, Bob —
why don’t you and Nancy come over for a barbecue on Saturday? I’ve got a new
grill.
Bob: Why sure,
Jim, that would be great, thanks. What do you want us to bring?
Jim: Oh, nothing
— just yourselves and the kids.
Bob: It’s been
ages since I had a good burger. Nancy’s been on a health kick….
Jim: We’re not
having burgers, sorry, Bob. I have something special planned.
Bob: What?
Jim: Squabs.
Bob: Beg pardon?
Jim: Stuffed with
gizzards.
Bob: I don’t
think Nancy would….gizzards?
Jim: Yeah — one
of the bird’s stomachs that’s used to grind up their food. Dinosaurs had them.
Alligators have them too. Earthworms. Some fish.
Bob: I think
you’re mistaken, mate. Oh, I get it. You’re going to cook burgers and we’re
going to drink beers and watch Eddie Izzard on YouTube.
Jim: Eddie
Izzard?
Bob: Yeah, that
comedian who dresses up as a woman. Runs marathons. Death Star Canteen. “I’ll
have the penne alla arrabiata.”
Jim: You’ve lost
me, mate. I’m serving squabs.
Bob: Nah, nah, I
know what you’re up to. “Squabs”! Hilarious. “Tea or cake and death?, tea and
cake or death?”
Jim: Are you
feeling alright?
Bob: The kids
know those skits by heart. Not really appropriate, some of it, but what can you
do? Funny as hell. A bit like you,
Jim.
Jim: The recipe’s
called “Surprised Squab.”
Bob: I’m sure it
is. Of course it is.
Jim: It says
“Serve it on the patio, where your guests can feel more free about wresting the
succulent meat from this bird’s multitude of tiny bones.” Says it right here.
Bob: Wait till I
tell Nancy.
Jim: “Serve 1
juicy squab per person.” Look — here.
Bob: Whatever you
say, Jim. See you at sixish? I’ll bring ketchup — you know how the kids go
through it like there’s no tomorrow.
Barbecue Cook Book,
Lane Magazine & Book Company, 1967
