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Tuesday, February 14, 2012

A Chocolate Tragedy



Verona, a public place.


JULIET: Happy Valentine’s Day! Thanks for all this chocolate!

ROMEO: I think I might have overdone it. Thanks for sneaking out to meet me.

JULIET: My Mom doesn’t want me to see you. She wants me to marry this guy named Paris instead.

ROMEO: That’s lame. If I ever met a dude named Paris, I’d kill him.

JULIET: That gives me an idea.

ROMEO: Oh yeah?

JULIET: If they try to make us walk down the aisle, I’ll commit suicide.

ROMEO: Isn’t that a bit drastic?

JULIET: Here’s the kicker: I’ll only PRETEND to be dead.

ROMEO: That won’t last long though. Have you thought this through?

JULIET: They’ll bury me and everything, but then I’ll wake up and run off and marry you instead.

ROMEO: That seems reasonable. But what if it doesn’t work? What if you really do die?

JULIET: It’s a risk I’ll have to take.

ROMEO: If you died, I’d have to kill myself. There would be no other possible outcome.

JULIET: Well if you died, I’d have to kill myself too. If it turned out I wasn’t dead already, that is.

ROMEO: If only our parents would let us date! There’d be far less bloodshed.

Chocolate Fantasies, Verne Ricketts, 1985

Also from this book: Chocolate Hot Tub, Chocolate Hanukah, Chocolate Nativity, MoonPie, Animal Crackers

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