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Friday, April 6, 2012

Take Your Lumps



— Oi — what’s for dinner?
— Lump
— Since when could we afford lump?
— We can’t. It’s day-old lump.
— Isn’t that a bit iffy?
— Not unless you cook it right away.
— It’s been ages since I had lump.
— Didn’t we have it for our anniversary one year? At that place?
— No — that was hump.
— Oh, right. It was a bit of alright though, that hump, wasn’t it?
— Delicious. Still, at the end of the day if I had to choose, I’d take lump.
— My mother used to make a nice bit of lump on a Sunday. Course, that was back when lump was plentiful. Everywhere you turned you saw lump on sale. Big lumps, too.
— Those were the days. I bet our grandkids won’t even know what lump tastes like.
— Terrible shame.
— What’s the world coming to. I ask you.

The Cooks and Confectioner’s Dictionary, John Nott, 1773

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