Friday, January 27, 2012

At Table

My Word!

The terminology associated with eating is confusing. When one dines, it might not be at dinner. When one sups, it might not be supper. It can hardly be called breakfast if all one was doing since the last meal was sleeping. You can lunch on brunch, but you needn’t drink tea at tea. A tea might not be high tea, but it might be supper. Brunch happens before lunch, but shouldn’t be confused with elevenses. Fine dining cannot be had in a diner. Sometimes people order a takeaway that is delivered rather than taken away, and some eat it on the spot. Eating on the run doesn’t mean eating while running. When grabbing a bite, one usually doesn’t grab just a bite. There are other things on the menu at a Chippy besides chips. Pubs serve food, though it isn’t always pub food. Eggs and bacon is always breakfast, no matter what time of day it is eaten. Fast food might have taken ages to prepare, and slow food can be eaten raw. Parking at convenience stores isn’t usually convenient. Actually consuming “all-you-can-eat” in restaurants that advertise thusly is frowned upon should not be taken literally. Do not expect to get “Surf and Turf” when you order it. There is no such thing as an “endless breadstick.” Salad bars feature very little salad. You may not put this in your pipe and smoke it. A snack cake is still just a cake, and frozen desserts may or may not be novelties, though they are sold in the Frozen Novelty aisle. You cannot eat a Donut Hole. You can eat the part of the donut that formed the hole in another donut. Milkshakes are not shaken. Happy meals are often only wishful thinking. 
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