— Darling! Hark! Look — I am returned from the market, having bartered with a merchant there for these delicious-looking but mysterious tubers!
— Oh Geoffrey — that’s wonderful news. All I had for dinner was this cauliflower, some asparagus, and a few mushrooms from the patch by the privy.
— Aren’t they magnificent!
— Yes! They look exactly like earthen stones! What did they cost you, husband?
— Edward, the youngest. You’re always complaining about him hanging around.
— Oh, good. Less mouths to feed! Perhaps he will enjoy a better life as a deckhand on some ocean-going vessel and see the world.
— Perhaps he will go to the fabled place where these lumps are grown! What a blessed place that must be!
— I will serve them with my special wooden spoon. Be a dear and rend them open with your axe, will you?
— Why certainly, my beloved. Oh, to live a life on the seas! Swabbing the decks and swaying with the ship! The tropics! Imagine the diseases! I wonder if we shall ever see him again.
— Probably not. Like as not he’ll drown within a month.
— So I’m excited about these spuds. Do you think you’re supposed to cook them or eat them raw?
— How are you serving the rest?
— Raw. I didn’t have time to gather kindling.
— Uncooked it is then, my Sweet. Can’t wait. I’m going to toss a rock around with Ulric.
— Careful, Geoffrey! You remember what happened last time!
— Poor Freddie. He would have made a good seafarer, that boy.