A Cautionary Tale

Kenny's Drumsticks

Some people are walking public service announcements for the dangers of ill-advised plastic surgery. Kenny Rogers is one such person.

Consider young Kenny: a singing Grizzly Adams, cuddly and hairy, full of the promise of rural romance.

Kenny reached his zenith as a superstar in the late 1970s / early 1980s, when he delivered succulent duets and heart-rending ballads attired in his trademark white suit and trimmed white beard.

Looks like a normal dude, right? Everything’s where it’ supposed to be.

But then something terrible happened to Kenny’s face. Parts were pulled about, something weird was done around his eyes — and now he looks like a mannequin that makes children cry. The permanently shocked expression he now wears mirrors the face people wear when they see him.

Kenny might have spent some of his millions on plastic surgery, but never fear; he won’t run out of cash anytime soon. What Kenny might have lacked in sense when it came to his face, he made up for in his diverse portfolio of investments, most notably in lending his name to the “mid-casual restaurant” Kenny Rogers Roasters, which could once be found in strip malls across the US, but not any more.

Kenny Rogers Roasters (KRR) didn’t simply die when American stopped eating there. It just moved locations — to the far east, in fact. KRR is a hugely popular chain across Indonesia, where today the Chinese Year of the Dragon is celebrated with a special dish called “Dynasty Chicken.” It’s THE place to go in Kuala Lumpur.

Despite its success, Kenny hasn’t always been his own best PR machine, saying on record he doesn’t really like the chicken served there, preferring greasy burgers instead. He’s also claimed to regret his new face but feels it will settle over time.

The moral of the story here is one should not try to look like a spring chicken when you are past your prime. When you age, you should look like a chicken that’s been roasted on a spit. Slowly, with lots of marinade.

Here's a recipe for Kenny Rogers Roasters Chicken.

Recipe courtesy of http://www.easybreezyrecipes.com/kenny-rogers-roasters-restaurant-recipes.html. The author suggests you prepare it for a "hot date" with "someone you met on a romantic dating site."